


Describe me like one of your French girls

by AngelTheChangelingKing



Category: Original Work
Genre: Absolutely no homo, Best tags that I've ever done, Bros getting drunk and describing each other, Demi you whore!!!, Drinking, Fluff, I love these tags, In reality all of the homo, Lucian loves the word fuck, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Purple Hamilton Fucker, They have been disasters for so long, Vampires being bros, and they were ROOMMATES, just two bros being bros, obvious pining, oh my god they were roomates, they're both disasters, tm - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:26:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22219282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelTheChangelingKing/pseuds/AngelTheChangelingKing
Summary: Two vampire bros, getting drunk and describing each other since they can't see their reflections, five feet apart cause they're not gay!AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES!!!*bangs pots and pans* COME GET Y'ALLS JUICE
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	Describe me like one of your French girls

**Author's Note:**

> Some semi important fun facts  
> *Lucian and Cassie are roommates (obvs) and have been for a while  
> *Cassie has been turned longer than Lucian  
> *Lucian is a bouncer, Cassie is a bartender, they both work at the same bar (Not mentioned in the fic just thought it was cute)  
> *I know that Cassius is the name of some Roman senator that helped stab Jules or some shit. My Cassie and that Cassius are not the same hoe. My boyfriend suggested the name so I kept it don't @ me  
> This was written in a flurry of inspiration after I found the prompt on Pinterest. Pretty sure it was screenshotted from Tumblr. It reads "Two vampire friends lying on then floor getting drunk and describing each other because they can't use mirrors don't even try to tell me that isn't adorable"  
> AND I KNOW THAT VAMPIRES CAN'T BE SEEN IN MIRRORS CAUSE OF THE SILVER BACKING AND THAT THEY STOPPED MAKING IT WITH SILVER SO TECHNICALLY THEY COULD BE SEEN IN MIRRORS NOW BUT THAT'S IRRELEVANT

“And why are we doing this again?” Lucian slurred, lazily spinning the empty bottle on the table in front of him. Two had already fallen and shattered. Usually he’d be shouting at Cassius for making a mess and even more staining the rug yet again, but he couldn’t care less now.

“You! You said you were curious! Yooou were-were all like ‘Oh hey, I forgot what I look like! I wondeeer what I look like!’ And then I was like ‘Oh shit, you right, hey man, I’ll describe you if you describe me!’ And then you were like-”

“Okay you don’t need to remind me of my own stupidity.” Lucian cut in, interrupting Cassie from his brilliant re-enactment.

“You asked!” Cassie exclaimed raising his hands up in defence. Apparently, he found the notion hilarious and broke into a fit of giggles.

“Are you even coherent enough for this?” Lucian deadpanned, cursing as the bottle spun off the table, shattering aside the previous two.

“Ha! Three for three!” Cassie cackled. “And you accuse me of being clumsy!”

“Are you sober enough for this, Cassius?” He repeated, clearly growing impatient. He was already bouncing his leg anxiously and tapping his finger against the table in an almost synchronized rhythm.

“Come on, all I have to do is describe you right? That’s easy enough, anyone can do that! The question is how bad do you want me to go?” Cassie gave a lopsided grin. “Do you want me to go like seventeenth century poet bad with ‘lips like rose petals made of velvet’ or male lead in a teen novel bad with ‘his jaw could cut glass-’”

“Cassius, if you’re not going to take this seriously!” Lucian snapped, already pushing his chair back and standing up on two very wobbly legs.

“Hey!” Cassie reached over and grabbed him by the wrist. “Hold on a sec, Luz!” He sighed. “I’m sorry, I know how important this is to you okay? And-and it’s important to me too. You know…you know how I get with serious stuff.” he mumbled.

Lucian sighed as well. Cassie was the one person that he couldn’t stay angry at for more than five minutes. And the puppy eyes and pouting expression certainly didn’t help Lucian stay mad. “Fine.”

Cassie beamed. “Perfect! Now sit your pretty ass down so I can get a good look at your face.”

He rolled his eyes but complied, sitting back down across from him. “You see my face constantly you know; you don’t exactly have to study it.”

“Of course I do!” Cassie waved him off. “I’m being quizzed on it this time!”

Lucian looked around the room, glancing at the wood table, to the blackout curtains, to the dim lights above them. He looked to the ugly couch that they had dug out of the dumpster together just because Cassie had said that it had character. He looked at the landscape painting that he had been gifted who could remember how many years ago; it could probably be worth more than a few dollars now, but he’d sooner become a priest than sell it. He looked at everything around the room except for Cassie who was busy staring holes into him with a blank, drunken, gaze.

“Okay!” Cassie exclaimed all of a sudden, nearly making Luz fall off his seat. “I got it!”

“Took you long enough.” Lucian muttered; a tad more sober. He reached for one of the half full bottles to correct that.

“Hey! You still need to describe me too! If I can’t be fucking trashed, then neither can you!” Cassie protested. Lucian flipped him off and Cassie stuck his tongue out at him.

“So how are we doing this? You describe my ugly ass and then I’ll describe your buttface? Or you describe one thing and then I describe one thing?”

“The second one, I don’t want you to half ass this, Luz.”

“Fine, but you’re starting. And I get to have a swing after every description, it’s the only way I’m getting through with this.”

“Then I can do the same **_and_ **it has to be detailed, not just ‘your eyes are brown’. Are my eyes brown? Who the fuck knows, can’t wait to find out.”

“Fine!” Lucian shouted.

“Fine!” Cassie shouted back, even though he was still giggling like a schoolgirl. “Okay…let’s start with…hair!”

“Oh, what joy.”

“Shut up I’m thinking!” Cassie exclaimed.

“You’ve had enough time to think!”

“Okay!! Uh…your hair…. your hair is a fuckin cloud man-not a diss! Like your hair is soooo curly I love it and it’s like messy but it’s not??? Like usually you just stick that shit in a headband or bun and you’re ready to fuckin go.”

“You’re not exactly giving any precise details.” Lucian sighed, already regretting his decision to go through with this.

“I’m trying! Hmm, it’s really soft? Yeah, it’s really soft and it’s really dark, and the kind of curls that you have are tighter than mine…I think. But yeah, it’s kind of longer than shoulder length and curly, really curly, cloud curly. A really cool lion. Man, you’re a _lion_. No wait! You’re like that Hamilton bitch! Fuckin…purple-the purple fucker!” He exclaimed with a nod before taking a swing.

Lucian sighed but cracked a smile. “Guess that’s the best I’m getting huh? Alright, I’ll take that. Have half of a mind to get a haircut now.”

Cassie choked on his drink. “YOU WILL GET BOMBARDED BY LADIES, ABSOLUTELY NOT, NOT WHILE THIS QUEER STILL LIVES AND DOESN’T BREATHE!” He shrieked.

“Well now I gotta.” Lucian laughed.

“What have I done?” Cassie whispered, about to take another sip before Luz stopped him.

“Uh nope, it’s my turn now.” He reminded. “Alright…hair…Your hair is like a really dark brown and curly but not as curly as mine, looser curls. Your hair is short on the sides but longer on top and is always parted to the left but most of the curls get in your face and block your left eye like ninety percent of the time. And you’ve had that hair cut for like three fucking years.” Lucian took a long drink. “But it suits you. Hey, If I get mine cut maybe you should grow yours out to see how it looks.”

“Dude I want to dye my hair fucking purple.” Cassie gasped. “Let’s go dye my hair purple. Like not like a dull purple either- I’m talking like pastel lavender or a purple so bright that it’ll rival purple fucker’s purple fuckin suit.”

“Ask me again in the morning, your turn.”

“Asshole.” Cassie grumbled. “Imma do your face now, like the structure n shit.”

“Well this should be a treat.

“Shut up! Okay so your face is veeerrryyyy…sculpted. Like you have that jawline-”

“If you say a jawline that can cut glass I swear-”

“Don’t interrupt me!” Cassie shushed. “Your jawline is very sharp, like that shit that actors are famous for. But you have five o’clock shadow twenty-four seven...I think that’s the most that I can do I think. You don’t really have any like birthmarks or nothin’ man, your skin is clear as hell, not much else to describe. Just-your face looks like one of those statues, sharp and clean.”

“Some people find five o’clock shadows sexy, you know.” Lucian pointed out. “And it’s fine, I didn’t expect much for that description.”

Cassie rolled his eyes and took a drink.

“Your face isn’t round-round but it’s not sharp either. It has angles and all that but it’s like soft, like you notice them but like you have delicate cheekbones.”

Cassie burst out laughing.

“Shut up! That’s all your getting on your face now!” Lucian shouted, cheeks burning.

“No, no, no! I’m sorry! I’ll shut up, please finish!” He said quickly, trying to swallow down his laughter. It was not an easy task.

“Ugggh, you also have freckles on your cheeks and nose, they…look nice, I guess. Don’t know how you have freckles; I mean you’re not as dark as me but you’re not like blindingly pale, you know?.”

“Freckles are cute, I am cute, therefore I have freckles, fuck genes and biology. Also it’s called being Latino fuckhead.” Cassie proclaimed.

“Five bucks say that you draw them on.” Lucian scoffed, taking a sip. “Oh, and you can’t grow any facial hair, so you have a massive baby face.”

Cassie gasped as if he had been shot. “How **_dare_** you?!”

“Hurry up.”

“Meanie. Uuuh…you…are built? I know that you go to the gym and all that but yeah, you’re like pretty solid, you got that ‘I can and will fuck you up’ vibe. And you got some really killer flower tattoos on your arms-”

“Aren’t we supposed to describe what we can’t see?” Lucian interrupted.

“Oh shit, you right.”

“You don’t get a drink for that, my turn, remember, shoulders and up but I’m going to describe the same thing that you did.” Lucian announced. “Alright, you’re like…tall, and I hate it. You’re taller and like kinda fluffier than me, not like bad fluffy, like fluffy enough to be a pillow. Pillow fluff.”

“Yeah, I know, you’ve been plastered before and apparently my tummy was the only suitable pillow in the house.” Cassie laughed.

“That never happened. Also is there uh-anything that I can’t mention?”

He shrugged. “Dick size?”

“As if I would know that, but seriously, anything that I can’t mention?”

“…No? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, just- your neck, you got some really fucked up scars, you usually wear turtlenecks and scarves out. Never brought it up but…yeah, um, do you even remember how you got them? If you want to share! No pressure, obviously.” Lucian said cautiously, before taking another small sip.

Cassie never really asked much about his ‘before time’ (otherwise known as the life he had before been turned), so Lucian always made the same point to respect his privacy about it. It was a well-known custom among their kind; kind of like a vampire version of ‘don’t ask don’t tell’, but it didn’t mean that the two weren’t curious. Numerous times Cassie had opened his mouth to ask something when Lucian brought up some trivial fact of his past, a family member or old friend, only to snap it shut and smile. Lucian himself had questions that he found himself itching to ask his long-time roommate, some that weren’t so related to his past as well. So while the alcohol was here dulling down both his senses and his fears, he figured hey, why the fuck not?

“Oh that! Pssh!” Cassie waved it off as something trivial. “Remind me to tell you that story later, it’s great-well not for me but it’s exciting! Okay, so my turn, let’s go with…okay Immma hit off three at once. Your nose is like straight, kinda like a statue or something, kinda wide and cute. Your eyebrows are really dark, like no filling in required, a bit messy but not caterpillars ya know? Your mouth…like cupid’s bows lips? I don’t know, lips are lips, like they look nice. You use fuckin vanilla Chapstick when you think no one is looking but it’s doing its job. Kind of ‘velvet softness’ that poets write about.” He took a deep drink.

“Fuck you, it tastes good and prevent chapping.”

“Dude, I’m not shitting on you, self-care man, that’s the good shit.”

“So now I gotta knock three back too?”

“You know it.” Cassie grinned. “This is doing wonders for my self-esteem.”

“Egoïstic bitch. You have a button nose and I hate having to say that because it sounds so weird. It’s cute, I guess. Your eyebrows are always perfect and shaped or whatever because you always have a certain someone do them-”

“I’d do yours if you asked, you heathen! And I do your hair-when you let me! Speaking of which let meeee, I haven’t braided you in _ages_! Anyway, it’s called equivalent exchange!” He protested.

“Because you have a certain someone do them so they’re always on point.” He continued. “Your lips are uh…full. They kind of centre your face and brings everything together, like it makes all your features complement each other. They’re the kind of lips that you were saying that poets talk about, the ones that look like rose petals cause they’re always looks like you have some kind of lip gloss or something to give them that kind of colour.”

“Wooow, sounds pretty gay, dude.” Cassie said, fully breaking down into a giggle fit.

“Demi, you whore!” Luz flipped him off. He took another drink and succumbed to giggles himself. “Okay, so what are we missing, huh?”

“Eyes! The most important thing!” Cassie reached over and waggled his fingers in front of Luz’s face, nearly poking one of said eyes out. “Okay, lemme just…think…I have to get this perfect, eyes are the windows to the goddamn soul.”

“You’re such a dumbass.” Lucian rolled his eyes, a smile playing on his lips.

“No looking away! I have to-have to concentrate!”

Lucian groaned but complied, locking eyes with his roommate. “Let me know when you’re done.” A beat passed, and then another. Luz hated eye contact on the best of days but while this made him uncomfortable it was also…nice, inviting, like practically everything else that Cassie dragged him into. Lucian flushed a bit and fought the urge to look away. He was half convinced that Cassie had fallen asleep with his eyes open.

“Got it! Okay- are you ready? This shit is going to be so fucking poetic.” Cassie proclaimed.

“Go for it.” Lucian said, inwardly sighing with relief.

“Your eyes are liked night sky. At first glance you just see black, they have this impossible darkness to them that almost seem empty, but then you keep looking and it’s like-the opposite, they’re _infinite_. And then you keep looking and then the light hits just right and you see the layers to them-to you. The light hits them and they shine like stars and look so fucking beautiful. You always hear people say ‘oh they have all of the stars in their eyes’ when they’re describing someone, well you have the universe. The full, the empty, the vast, and the lonely; it’s all there and I- I think it scares people because they’ve never wanted to know a person more-or because they’ve never seen anything like it and they know that they never will again.” Cassie nodded, more to himself than anything, and took a final swing. “That’s what they look like, at least as far as I can tell.”

Luz was fairly certain that his face was so red that it could burst into flames at any given moment. “What the **fuck** was that adulation for, Cassie?!” he managed to choke out.

“You didn’t think that I was good at describing.” Cassie shrugged.

“Yeah but- are you seriously expecting me to match that?!” he squawked.

“I mean you don’t _have_ to, it’s fine if you’re not able to.” He hummed, trying to hide his smile. He was well versed in Lucian’s stubborn pride.

“You fucking prick, give me a second and prepare to eat your words!”

“Take your time!” Cassie chimed.

Lucian grumbled to himself for a few seconds, flushed up to his ears, before snapping his fingers and sitting up straight. “Alright, first of all, you were right, your eyes _are_ brown-”

“Boring, called it.”

“Nope. Your eyes have every sunrise that there ever was and that there ever will be, trapped inside them. They glow whenever you talk about something that your excited about, or whenever your favourite show comes on, or when you’re about to tell the punchline of an absolutely horrible joke. Your eyes are round, almost innocent looking, and your eyelashes are so dark and gorgeous that you don’t seem human-no joke intended. But your eyes are just alive in a way that shouldn’t-couldn’t be possible, and they cast a spell on whoever looks at them for too long. There are little specks of gold, different hues of rich earth coloured tones that blend together seamlessly and flawlessly. And-and I’m running out of words but they’re just so, so, _pretty_. Like, Cassius, you are fucking gorgeous.”

Now, at least Cassie had the courtesy to look embarrassed, pink high on his cheeks. He ran a hand through his hair and gave an awkward chuckle. “Sounds pretty gay, dude.” Cassie reiterated, chewing on his bottom lip.

“Demi.” Lucian reminded with a grin before finishing the rest of his drink in one go. “So, do I win?”

“Huh? Oh! Yeah-yeah you totally win, best uh-best description ever.” Cassie cleared his throat, blush darkening by the minute. He had never _said_ that it was a competition. “An-anyway, it’s getting pretty late, we should call it a night-day-whatever fucking time it is.”

“Hmm, don’t know, going to sleep means having to wake up, waking up means hangover, hangover means fuck my life.”

“You can blame me for it tomorrow, now we should head to bed, come on Luz, don’t make me be the responsible one.”

“Oh dear god, perish that thought.” Lucian cackled. “Fine,” he stood up and almost automatically fell over. Cassie wasn’t much better and collapsed right after him. The two broke into pearls of laughter that had them clutching at their sides and tears collecting in the corners of their eyes. “F-fuck it, floor it is!”

“Noooo, couch at _least_ , you’ll be bitching about your back in the morning if you stay on the floor.” Cassie begged, still giggling as he tried to find enough balance to make his way to said couch. Good thing that the living room was so small.

“I always bitch about my back.” Lucian said, but complied regardless. The pair made their way to the couch, stumbling, laughing, tripping over each other and cursing. Lucian politely demanded that Cassie lay down first so that he could use him as a pillow to which he responded with a smug ‘told you so’, to which Lucian quickly replied with a ‘you can’t prove shit’.

After that it was just a matter of untangling limbs and sorting themselves out, a process that took much longer than necessary. “There, happy?” Cassie asked, wiggling into a more comfortable spot.

“I will be once you stop fuckin moving.” Luz grumbled, already half asleep, Cassie wasn’t far behind.

“Hey, Luz?” Cassie called.

“Hmm?”

“In the morning, can we…can we describe something else in the morning?”

“Which would be?” Lucian asked cautiously.

He swallowed thickly and did his best to choke the words out of his throat. “Can we describe how we uh-how we feel…regarding each other?”

Cassie could have sworn that he heard Lucian give a sharp intake of breath but when he spoke his voice remained groggy and indifferent. “Whatever, if that’s what you want.”

He smiled against Luz’s hair. “I think I’m going to win that one.”

“Ha, good fucking luck.”

“Either way, I’m dying my hair fucking purple, so I’m going to be the real winner.”

**Author's Note:**

> Might fuck around and do a full story about them? Lmao, I keep promising to write shit and then I don't.  
> Anygay, any last name suggestions? I started doodling them and needless to say they're my babies. I've never really done any Original work/Characters so uh...yeah!!!  
> Hope that y'all enjoyed!!! Kudos and comments are very much appreciated!!!!


End file.
